Welcome to my Substack! If you’ve followed me on Facebook, you know I’ve been on a fitness journey for the last 10 years. And if you’ve been on Facebook today, you’ve likely seen the post I’m sharing below.
I’ve decided to share this here because it’s important to share where I’m at today before we look back.
I’ve been thinking, and usually, that doesn’t end well for me.
But here I am, looking forward to a change and not back. I’m not saying I’m forgetting the lessons learned, but I’m finally realizing I cannot change it.
So what’s bringing me to post today?
I feel like I’m at a turning point and am getting a new start. Yeah, I know I’ve said this before, but this time it really feels different to me. I can’t explain it, but I feel like this is where I need to be and that everything I’ve done, the good and bad, brought me here.
So, here I am again, to pontificate on my plan.
Mental Health
I’ve been working on my mental health.
I’ve been in treatment for my anxiety and depression for some time, but this year I really took a step forward. I’m seeing a counselor on a regular basis and I’ve been working with my physician to adjust my meds. While my ultimate goal would be to stop the meds, I fully understand and embrace that this is where I need to be. For the first time in a long time, I feel like me again. It’s been years, if not decades, since I’ve felt this well.
This sense of wellness is allowing me to work on being more present in my life—something I haven’t felt able to do for some time now. I’ve also been trying to say yes to things outside my comfort zone. It’s been a challenge, but I am making progress.
That’s not to say I don’t have down days. They still come; in fact, today was one. I just needed to stay home and have a quiet day to myself. However, I feel like I’ve wasted a day. I understand I haven’t—I just listened to what I needed to do—but it’s an old habit to break.
"Work in progress" is a very accurate phrase right now.
Physical Health
With that said, the improvements in my mental health are allowing me to get back to my physical health.
Since my marathon two years ago, I’ve been in a funk. My running dropped off, I wasn’t going to the gym, and I was just in cruise control. Of course, I started seeing changes, like gaining 40 pounds in the last two years, though I’m down 10 already. But I had excuses… a couple of unexpected injuries, loss, my own brain saying I’ll start tomorrow or next month. The time slid by and I did the bare minimum. I even worked with a trainer for six months this past year and I still didn’t get it.
But now, with my mental state clearing, I’m feeling more able to get back to it. I’m very slowly returning to my running. It’s definitely been a bit of stop-and-go, but I know that’s on me.
I am also trying to add some variety to my exercise. I’m going to schedule some hikes, get my bike tuned back up, try to add daily walks again, and—of all the things I could choose—I am doing CrossFit.
I know, right? But I need that type of structured fitness routine right now and the group I’ve joined has been very supportive of my efforts.
For the first time in a long time, I feel I’m on the right track and making changes for my future.
Finally, thank you to everyone who’s put up with my crap and supported me all this time.
Now it’s my turn.
So why am I using Substack?
I am looking for a new way to keep myself accountable, and this is certainly outside my comfort zone. And let’s face it, social media is a lot of background noise. By coming here, I can focus on my work and really document what I’m working on.
Moving forward, I plan to expand what I produce here. There will be regular, unfiltered updates on my physical and mental health. I will talk about the wins and the setbacks. More importantly, I plan to use this platform to improve my writing and to dive deeper into projects I am passionate about.
Thanks for subscribing and being part of the journey. Let’s see what’s next!
