After writing the post about my dad…I needed a little time to think and I took a week off from posting.
During that week I thought about how my Dad was 30 years older and how being 52 makes that difference feel smaller. I don’t really know what my dad was like at my age now. I mean I knew things he did, but I didn’t really know him yet.
At that time I was 22 and well into my own little world. So I wonder at 52, what was he doing?
Was he looking at retiring yet?
Thinking about his second act?
Did he think he would only have 10 more years with mom?
Who was he when he wasn’t working?
What were his hopes and dreams?
I know it’s unfair to compare my 52 with his. But here I am, sitting in my office, writing my new essay and thinking about things I like.
Dungeons & Dragons and other games, running, exercise, going out to shows.
We had such different paths in our lives and interests.
So here I sit, 52 and knowing the odds are high I have less days in front of me than behind. So what am I doing?
I am questioning if I’m on the right path and if the choices I am making now will ensure I am comfortable for whatever time I have left.
One of those choices is starting Cor Invictum. It is a multi-year work and what you have seen so far is my story and my week to week. The writings are one part accountability, one part therapy, and one part vanity. But I want to build something that will outlast me, something that could help people in their lives.
Most importantly it is an outlet for my thoughts. This week’s thoughts…doubt and feeling conquered.
How do I get around this? I write, tell my story, and figure it out. I keep the big dream, but focus on the short term steps.
They are:
Work on my physical & mental health
Narrow the social media focus of Cor Invictum.
Work on getting my trainer experience.
Understand these things don’t happen overnight.
Working on these steps will allow me to trust myself so you can build your trust in me. That doubt was last week’s challenge and will be one to face going forward.
That said, last week wasn’t all gloom, it was generally a good week. I exercised every day, except today. I needed that recovery day after hiking Overlook Mountain Friday and participating in a 5K Saturday morning. This brings me to a change of my weight loss goals. I changed my 25% weight-loss goal from starting to run to getting a new pair of running shoes. So, you know what that means... I started running again!
I didn’t want to wait any more, I need something to do to keep me active on the days I don’t do CrossFit. To get back at it, I am using “Runna”. It is a slow build, return to running plan that ends in late November. Once that plan is done, I am shifting into race training mode. Then, in April 2027, I am going to complete my tenth, in-person half marathon. And this one? It’s for me and to prove to myself I can do it again.
For Cor Invictum, I am going to focus on Substack and Instagram. I realized I overextended with trying to post to multiple platforms. Focusing on those will allow me to hone my skills and create compelling content.
For this week I plan to:
Continue my return to running.
Prep my breakfast for the week.
Post a little more.
Most importantly though?
I’m going to trust myself.
